


Tantrum Tuesday

by MisterPancakes



Series: Papa Thomas and his bratty babies [1]
Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Cockatoo Remus, Cockatoo Roman, Gen, Rated for Remus screaming about blood and genetalia, Short fic to help me get back into this, Thomas is a tired papa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:20:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28397577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisterPancakes/pseuds/MisterPancakes
Summary: Remus decides to be a brat, and everyone's eardrums suffer the consequences.
Series: Papa Thomas and his bratty babies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079867
Kudos: 15





	Tantrum Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Some disturbing imagery and extremely foul language is discussed by a shrieking green bird. I know next to nothing about birds or how to raise them, so if the information provided is inaccurate feel free to let me know.

Remus blinked slowly, staring right into his soul. He was going to do it, and nothing in the universe would stop him. It was inevitable. Thomas could only watch in terror as he crept closer, ever so slowly until...

He opened his jaws and let the cup fall, and it crashed to the floor. It shattered into a hundred pieces. He looked up to Thomas and stared right at him as he spoke, a manic glint in his beady black eye. “I cannot be contained by mere mortals.”

He set his hands on his hips. “I'm not giving you more food, you bottomless pit.”

Remus began jumping up and down on his perch, throwing his green feathered head back to scream. “ _Baby is hungry! Feed baby!”,_ he shrieked.

“I just fed you two minutes ago. You can't trick me”, Thomas said calmly. “I'm going to wait for you to settle down.” The cockatoo continued to yell and caw, jumping and throwing himself around his enclosure. He bumped into his rubber ball, which bounced to the floor. They were all used to Remus' tantrums by now, and while it could really hurt your ears it was best to just wait it out. Cockatoos were a lot like toddlers, and living with Remus had actually been great practice. You couldn't give in to the demands (when there were any, as opposed to nonsensical screaming), and scolding him when he was so worked up wouldn't work especially when he didn't understand what he was doing wrong most of the time. Thomas had built up a lot of patience over the years.

“ _Crap sick blood nuggets!”_

“Shut up!”, Roman yelled. “You're hurting our ears!” His red feathers were puffed up with agitation, but he didn't join his brother in throwing a fit. That was a relief, because in the rare situation that they shrieked in tandem he tended to get some angry phone calls. That was one of the main reasons he'd built them separate enclosures on opposite walls; they did love each other, but tended to pick fights and even though the insults were entertaining nobody got any sleep.

“Fucking bullshit!”, Remus screamed. “Daddy! Daddy help!”

“How can I help?”, Thomas asked neutrally. He didn't think anything was actually wrong, since both of his feather babies were _quite_ vocal about pain. But making sure of it couldn't hurt.

“Get the whale, slit it open”, Remus would have been spitting if he could. “Get the stones out of the bladder, throw them at the sun! Get naked! Everybody get naked!” His eyes were wild. While his brother tended to wail and continuously scream for Thomas during fits, Remus just spewed angry nonsense.

“Get naked!”, Roman repeated, this time with joy. He chuckled, nudging one of his toys. “You think better.”

“Daddy, get the fucking whore! Destroy his pussy.”, Remus said harshly. “Wreck it. Kill it dead, it's a bad pussy and it stinks.” He wasn't screaming anymore, but was still bouncing and bobbing. Thomas bit his cheek to keep from laughing.

“I like cats, you're stupid”, Roman scoffed. He calmly drank some water, then spread a wing and scratched himself with his beak. “Why don't we jump in cheesecake and drink the juices?”

“No thanks, I don't think so”, Thomas chuckled, slowly approaching Remus' enclosure. He stilled, cocking his head to the side. “Are you settling down, baby?”

“No! Daddy, I don't wanna”, Remus grumbled, turning around and grabbing a rubber ring. “Make it leave.”

“Make what leave? You want me to throw that for you?”

He turned around and shook his head. Remus bit the ring for about a minute (was chewing the right word? Could you chew without teeth?), before getting bored and spitting it out to drink some water.

Roman cooed from his enclosure, climbing down to the floor. “I'm good.”

“Yes, you are”, Thomas said, kneeling down to pick him up. The little red bird nuzzled his arm, climbing onto his leg. Then up onto his arm, keeping at it until he was perched on his shoulder. He leaned in close to whisper into his ear.

“I sniffed the Kraken's crack!”, Roman said loudly, bonking their heads together. He winced, waiting for the pain to fade. Neither of his birds had a good concept of appropriate volume, and for some reason he tended to forget that.

Thomas yelped when Remus jumped down and landed in his hair. “Made a mess”, he cooed, making kissy noises. He sighed and reached up to stroke a finger across his baby's soft back. He'd have to clean up the glass eventually, but he could sit for a moment and enjoy the relative peace. While it lasted.

Life in the Sanders home was never boring.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope somebody enjoys this! Have a lovely day ;)


End file.
